2020 will be remembered for forcing us – equally as humanity, societies, and individuals – to stop and reconsider our perspective of the world as we know it and our place in it.
2020 was certainly challenging for me. It took me a lot, but surprisingly, this precisely was what I needed so much right now.
2020 took away my firm beliefs and expectations of what the world, love, and happiness should look like…
… It took the outdated maps and directions, in whose labyrinth I lost myself in search of a destination that brings promises of happiness, success, and dreams come true… while the road signs were right in front of my eyes all the time…
… 2020 put distance between me and the people and situations that I could not for countless sentimental reasons part with and where I recklessly wasted my focus and energy.
… along with them, it took a lot of the emotional baggage with which I was struggling for a long time.
2020 has untaught me of a bunch of poorly taught lessons, bad habits, and outdated notions of the world around me and my place in it.
2020 took my need to prove anything to anyone – even to myself;
The need to obtain achievements, titles, and approval, bringing a false sense of fulfillment and success;
The need to compare and compete with others and life;
To be in the “right” place, at the “right” time – a time and place that someone else has picked;
The need to do – restlessly and endlessly – as if the very act of doing means that I am one step closer to…something undefined…, while in truth, I was tramping in one place, as if running on a fitness trail, only exhausting myself in the process.
It also took away my need to plan and control my every step, which smothered the ease, creativity, and magic that make life so beautiful!
2020 took away my old self, along with all the labels and definitions it has accumulated over the years and used to express itself to the world. 2020 made the girl become “Nobody” in exchange for the opportunity to be anything she wants.
And as a result of all this taking, 2020 gave me something precious – a space to grow which I wouldn’t have otherwise – enough space to welcome all the new experiences, emotions, people, and situations with which life will meet me. Some of them life will take away again, and it is inevitable just as the gentle kiss of the warm spring breeze will melt the snow.
But now I know – sometimes the greatest gifts we receive are the things life takes away from us.
I will conclude with this beautiful philosophy, a close colleague of mine shared with me some time ago – “The Japanese garden is not complete until there is nothing more you can remove.“
Thank you, 2020, for taking so many of the things I didn’t know I don’t need anymore!